|And as America swears in (or at) a new President, here's something to remember in the next four or eight years. And that goes for both sides.|
1000 Words of Peril: February"Is this absolutely necessary, ladies?"1000 Words of Peril: February by JimmyDimples
Wedged in between two immensely fat security ladies each easily more than double his size and mass, the Highway Guardian sat strapped to the office chair, waiting in front the twin oak double doors.
The intercom buzzed. "Honey? Cookie? Please bring him in."
"Yes, Ms. Gordina," one of HG's captors replied.
Staying close, the two gargantuan guards pushed his chair through the doors as they swung open. Beyond, long flowing curtains covered the walls like in an old movie theater. Around them stood potted fruit trees, stainless steel refrigerators, cupboards and kitchen cabinets. Right in the middle was an immense white-topped kidney-shaped desk and someone seated in the middle of a sofa looking away from them at a world map covering the back wall.
But then the sofa... or rather, a very, very wide, plush executive chair... pivoted around. And right in the middle was an even huger, almost perfectly round-bodied woman
Enter Sailor DokeshiKnock knock knock.Enter Sailor Dokeshi by JimmyDimples
Hugh Gordon mumbled as he stirred on the couch and tried to rub his eyes into clear vision.
Knock knock knock.
"Ugh." He fell asleep... again... in front of his laptop and TV. Combining his shopping and selling spree with the all-night Princess Quasar marathon was not such a hot idea. At least he broke even, but he got three hours of sleep. If that.
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Awright, awright, awright!" he grumbled. "Heard you the first two times. Coming. Let me get a shirt."
And he yanked a "The Pizz" T-shirt off the kitchen table, slipped it on hurriedly, made a cursory check to see it wasn't backwards, and stumbled toward his apartment's door. And rubbing a little dried crust out of his right eye, he peeked through the viewer hole.
And to his surprise, he saw a college/graduate age girl wearing a bright red and green jester's cap and magic girl sailor fuku with shin-high boots.
"Huh?" he grunted.
1000 Words of Peril: January"My English is not that bad. I will ask again."1000 Words of Peril: January by JimmyDimples
WHACK! Colonel Pak smashed the cane into Les Safer's back again. "How does your plant fabric make people grow?"
Naked except for his boxer shorts and strapped to a simple stool, Les simply kept quiet. He'd been through imprisonment, ergonomic pain, scorpions, and even his arm twisted by an ogress before his visit to Japan. And since they'd kidnapped him, the North Korean military had exposed him to searing hot irons, dunking in ice water, and electroshocks. He still hadn't said anything because one, he didn't really know how to do bodily growth without a catalyst like Tetsuko's treatment, two, spitting back at his captors just didn't seem Christian to him, and three, he couldn't think of any witty comebacks.
Still, he wondered how they expected him to tell them anything if they killed him first. He didn't think they'd let him leave alive anyway if he did.
The one thing that haunted h
Dr. Green Challenge 1000.30“Are you sure you don't want me back to help out with anything?” Les asked.Dr. Green Challenge 1000.30 by JimmyDimples
Dr. Green looked at him and said gently but firmly, “Mr. Safer... Les... this isn't 'it's okay for you to have a free personal day if you don't feel like coming into work.' It's 'for the next twenty-four hours, I don't want you around here. Find a place you like, hang out there, and be back at this time tomorrow.”
“Yes, Doctor. See you then. Call me if you need me back earlier.”
And once Les ht the parking lot and drove off in his personal hatchback, Dr. Eaton Green turned back to his own living quarters.
The old battered guitar case with the remains of his old guitar's neck lay on the bed. Dr. Green had no idea why he'd hung onto it for so long. Into the case he put hard copies of forms involving Phillip Emporia that the doctor would never need again. And a copy of the local paper when Les Safer had gotten arrested.
UpgradeOne day we said, "We just can't wait,Upgrade by Garnet-43
We mustn't miss a beat
We'll change our Windows 98
To one less obsolete
I unplugged the tower from its wire maze
For an upgrade I did ask
The man said, "Three to five business days
It'll take to finish the task."
Computerless. At first it seems
An inconvenience small,
Then came the barely stifled screams-
Oh, no! Computer withdrawal!
No E-mail! Our palms did sweat
No solitaire! No internet!
Indeed, our longing got so bad
We even missed the pop-up ads!
Day after day our gaze would land
(We couldn't help ourselves)
Upon the bare computer stand
It's empty, lifeless shelves.
Three to five days long were past
When finally, it came at last
A joyful message on the phone
Hurray! Our baby's coming home!
So share with us our boundless joy!
We welcome home our favorite toy,
And hope with desperate hope and tears
That we won't need an upgrade for many years!
I'm an overweight, over-educated, under-mature hick in North Carolina's Greater Metropolitan Mayberry Area, back from teaching English in Guangzhou, China. I'd introduced the ABCs, the 123s, and the rights and wrongs to Cantonese kindergarteners, and am now seeking full time employment closer to home.
Current Residence: Surry County, NC
deviantWEAR sizing preference: XXL
Favourite genre of music: Demented
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4S
Shell of choice: Reese's Pieces coating
Skin of choice: KFC Original Recipe
Personal Quote: "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans."